ungrateful?!

I'm in a funk. Not unusual for me, but still...uncomfortable nontheless. I feel adrift, flailing in a turbulent sea. I am gasping for breath. I am slipping under, and I am losing the will to fight the tide.

I want MORE from life. Not more money, or more "things", although those wouldn't be unwelcome. But I want more richness of life, more richness of relationship, more wealth that comes from a feeling of belonging to people and the world around me. I want to know that I matter, in an important way, to others. I want my life, my existence to have a purpose. I want to thrive, rather than live in the basic survival mode I've been stuck in.

And for me, those feelings, this searching, has been bringing me to my Bible, to my church, to my fellow believers (a group full of friend possibilities), to an inner sanctuary of delight and joy in HIM. I want to know more, to learn more, to love more, to understand more, to question more, to seek more, to submit more, to bend more. I want MORE nearness to Him, plain and simple.

My mindset of late has prompted lots of blog-reading, and I came across a blog that gives me a peaceful moment, every time I look at it. www.aholyexperience.com gave me a challenging and exciting idea: an ongoing list of gratitude, with an initial goal of 1,000 reasons to be grateful. The sight has new gratitude postings every Monday; I'm not sure when I'll do mine, most likely it will be random, as I'm not a structured person.

Gratitude need not be grand, although it certainly can look that way. It can also be found in the mundane, the day-to-day, the miniscule details that we constantly breeze by in the busy bustle of our busy lives. So...

#1... for Camden's sketches, that make me thrilled to think of what he'll create tomorrow, and the day after that, and next year.

#2... for the fall season in Maine. Seriously, why would you live anywhere else from September to November? Apples, leaves, crunchy footsteps, sweater necessary chills, a general cozying-up.

#3... for soft hair nuzzled under my chin, my lap full of my Wyatt and his blankie, the sound of him sucking on his fingers beating like my own heart.

#4... for three hours of blissful silence every afternoon, and for the noise that comes home on a yellow school bus.

#5... for a God that saw more than I. I saw a life of change and seperation, and He saw a softening of hearts leading to a reunion of love.

#6... for a man called Nate, who consistently surprises me, with words and deeds and ideas and feelings and notions.

#7... for a dishwasher that magically cleans my grime with no effort on my part.

#8... for piles of blankets and comforters and quilts to cover and smother me all night, just as I like it.

#9... for a God that painted into existence the colors yellow and orange and brown and green - and the lush varieties of those blissful colors that I can glance outside and witness.

#10... for my brain and my heart. As muddled as they sometimes get, as much as I may question them, they are uniquely mine, and I treasure my individuality.

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Would you share some thoughts with me today?